The Worst Plan

"I don't feel this plan is going to be successful." Xanthiana was laying down in the middle of some wreckage she had pulled from one of the several collisions that pock marked paradise. She had attempted to make it look like a fresh collision with herself as the sole surviving wounded victim.

"I feel you aren't giving it the proper credit."

"What if a local farmer comes by? What if the authorities in the area? What if literally anyone, but bandits show up?"

"We're in the middle of bandit territory, anyone who comes this way is a bandit or has bandit like tendencies, and if someone else magically shows up we'll apologize for the incovenience and go about our way, to try this somewhere else." Xanthiana had to admit ti wasn't the best plan, but she figured a good ambush would lead the way to killing a roving band of smaller bandits so she could capture one and interrogate him proper.

"We have no cover."

"It's an ambush Elly, if we were behind cover it would be obvious that we were ambushing. Trust me, I know bandits, and I know idiots, this is plan will work flawlessly! I mean we used this in the war all the time."

"I can assume in the war you had more than just yourself doing the ambushing?"

"Hush Elly." Xanthiana did not need a robotic AI second guessing her brilliant ambush. She waited for at least an hour before she started second guessing her own plan. The sun was falling over the horizon when she heard some kind of vehicle coming close.

"We have incoming, scans show at least three men on an atv."

"Bandits?"

"Well they are all men and what little I can glean with my limited sensory capabilities appear to be dressed raggedly."

"So either bandits or.."

"WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE BOYS!"

"Bandits." The voice was loud and gutteral. She waited till they were fanning out before she rolled over with her rifle and killed two of the bandits outright and wounded the third by blowing out his knee. He threw away his weapon and begged for mercy, seeing as he had dead friends next to him it was the smart move in Xanthiana's opinion.

"Like I said Elly, most of the time this plan works."

"Most of the time?"

"Speak bandit before I send you to whatever god you believe in." Her rifles barrel was still smoking, the bandit pissed his pants.

"Whattttttttttttttttttt, do you want to know?"

Xanthiana smiled, "Everything."